Hello All and Happy Friday to everyone.
This has not been a good week for me, not a good week at all! I had heard rumors that my Butler may be pursuing a new career path and would soon be starting Nursing School. I, of course, could not believe this was true because why would she ever change careers when taking care of me is so personally fulfilling to her? I swear the human mind is an intricate machine that I have yet to understand and her reasoning processes seem so primitive. Anyway, I digress…
So she began her new endeavor this week and even had the nerve to ask if I was excited for her! Obviously I’m not. A. I am not an excitable dog and B. if I was to bother getting excited it would not be over something as trivial as this.
By Day 2 I realized this “nursing school” situation was a horrible idea. Butler now leaves early in the mornings causing me to push forward my breakfast and walk schedule almost a full hour, which in turn pushes forward my morning yawning and stretching, and so on and so forth. This also means that my post- walk schedule has shifted. For example, I now find myself considering my first morning nap as early as 8 am, as I have already lapped the house, stolen a bone from the puppy, and rearranged the couch pillows to my liking by then.
To make matters worse, one morning this week Butler didn’t even walk me before she left and I had to take my morning walk with the house Maintenance Man! He walks far too slowly for me and does not know my proper morning route. It was a disaster, just terrible!
(Editor’s note: The Maintenance Man aka Boyfriend has been Oswald’s owner for 10 years, so he is in fact familiar with Oswald’s basic needs…).
If the schedule changes weren’t bad enough, yesterday was the breaking point. When my Butler returned home from this “school” she attends, she announced that she was going to “practice” on me. I tried my best to glare in such a manner that would dissuade her from this task, but there was no stopping her. She pulled out her stethoscope and checked my heart beat and respiration rate right there in the middle of the living room. Honestly, where are we? A a field hospital? I should have at least been relocated to a real bed first….
Alas, I am not sure how I will suffer through two years of this inconvenience. Clearly I will have to think of ways to sabotage this “school” situation. I’m sure it won’t be hard to think of some ideas and I can probably execute them while throwing blame on the Puppy. I think there is a phrase which applies to situation such as these, something about two stones and a bird…? Or two birds and a plane…? Oh, it doesn’t matter, but I will keep you all posted on my progress.
Keep warm out there!